Saturday, 27 November 2010

If THE TWITS were Vegetarian...

Mr and Mrs Twit are among Roald Dahl’s finest creations. Their main aim in life is to be as revolting and mean as possible, both to each other and to the world at large. This attitude is, of course, highly appealing to young readers. I remember that when we were children, my brother had a tape of it being read by the brilliant Roy Kinnear. I wish I could hear that again now.

As part of the succession of tricks they play on each other Mrs Twit cooks an unusual spaghetti dish for her husband:
“Hey, my spaghetti’s moving!” cried Mr Twit, poking around in it with his fork.
“It’s a new kind,” Mrs Twit said, taking a mouthful from her own plate which of course had no worms. “It’s called Squiggly Spaghetti. It’s delicious. Eat it up while it’s nice and hot.”

This quick and easy spaghetti lunch contains no worms and is best served in a large bowl with some freshly baked bread.


Serves 3 – 4

300g dried spaghetti
1tbsp olive oil
1 garlic clove, crushed
1 red onion, chopped finely
1 red pepper, chopped
1 can tinned tomatoes
1tbsp tomato puree
1 small can sweetcorn
6 vegetarian hot-dog sausages, each cut into 3 pieces.
2tsp mixed herbs
3tsp spicy Italian seasoning
3tbsp vegetarian hard cheese, grated

If sausages are frozen, place in a small pan of boiling water and simmer for a few minutes, then cut into three.
Cook spaghetti according to packet instructions.
Meanwhile, heat oil in a large pan and add onion. Cook for a couple of minutes, then add the garlic. Cook for a few minutes more until starting to turn golden. Add red pepper and continue to fry until soft.
Add tomatoes and tomato puree and simmer gently.
Drain sweetcorn and stir into the tomato mixture with the sausages.
Add the herbs and seasoning.
Drain the spaghetti and stir through the sausage sauce.
Place in large bowl and sprinkle cheese over the top.

Spaghetti on Foodista

Later in the book we learn more of the couple’s depravity, with Mr Twit painting the branches of the Big Dead Tree with Hugtight Sticky Glue, while the caged monkeys look on. Mrs Twit will later make Bird Pie with the captives:
It didn’t matter what kind they were – song thrushes, blackbirds, sparrows, crows, little jenny wrens, robins, anything – they all went into the pot for Wednesday’s Bird Pie supper.
The current availability of meat-free products would, no doubt, mean little to The Twits, but more enlightened couples may enjoy this vegetarian alternative to Bird Pie as the chicken-style pieces mean no ‘little jenny wrens’ need suffer:


1 pack Quorn chicken-style pieces
1tbsp olive oil
1 onion, chopped
300ml vegetable stock
200ml double cream
3tbsp butter
2tbsp flour
75ml milk
2 large leeks, washed and chopped
1 sheet ready-rolled puff pastry

Preheat oven to 200C/ Gas 6
Heat oil and 1tbsp butter in a pan and add the onions and leeks.
Cook gently until soft and golden, add the Quorn pieces and then pour over the vegetable stock. Stir well.
In a separate pan heat the remaining butter. Add the flour and cook for 1 minute. Then add 60ml milk, stirring well to avoid any lumps. Add the cream and continue to cook until the roux is smooth. Then add it to the leek and Quorn mixture.
Bring to the boil to reduce by half and then allow to cool slightly. Season as required.
Pour into a pie dish.
Place pastry on top and crimp to seal. Slash the top with a sharp knife and moisten with the remaining milk.
Cook for 30-40 mins until pastry is cooked through and golden.


Choclette said...

Always good to find another vegetarian blog, but this is such a fun twist you've put on it. Great idea.

Brownieville Girl said...

Love the refrences to the Roald Dahl books, reminds me of when my kids were little :-}

Alisa said...

What a fun post.I really enjoy reading your "if__were vegetarian series".I came across your site from the foodieblogroll and I'd love to guide Foodista readers to your site. I hope you could add this spaghetti widget at the end of this post so we could add you in our list of food bloggers who blogged about spaghetti,Thanks!

camelia said...


We bumped into your blog and we really liked it - great recipes YUM YUM.
We would like to add it to the

We would be delighted if you could add your blog to Petitchef so that our users can, as us,
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