If THE MAN WITH NO NAME were Vegetarian…

Although a feature of several spaghetti westerns, Clint Eastwood made this character his own in the trilogy of films he made with Sergio Leone in the 1960s.

Cool and unflappable, he will light his cigar before deciding to blow the enemy away. Although in truth, a bounty hunter, he manages to be ‘the good guy.’

This sausage stew would warm his heart beneath his poncho. I serve it with the addition of some dumplings, too.

SAUSAGE AND BEAN STEW
Serves 2-3

6 vegetarian sausages, defrosted if bought frozen
1 medium red onion, sliced
1 medium red pepper, sliced
1 clove garlic, crushed
420g can mixed beans (pulses)
400g can chopped tomatoes
1tbsp tomato puree
1tsp dried basil
1tsp dried oregano
1tbsp sugar
1tbsp olive oil
2 bay leaves

Heat the oil in a large pan and fry the onion, garlic and pepper for a couple of minutes.
Chop each sausage into four and add to the pan.
Fry for a few more minutes until all have begun to soften.
Drain the beans and add to the pan with the tomatoes and tomato puree.
Sprinkle in the basil, oregano, bay leaves and sugar and allow to simmer until the sauce has thickened.
Remove bay leaves before serving.

(This dish is even better if prepared in advance and re-heated when needed.)

Fantasy Veggie Dinners - ALFRED LORD TENNYSON and WILLIAM HOLMAN HUNT

If Tennyson came to dinner I would love him to regale me with tales of Arthurian times, not of misguided attempts to win the Crimean War or any other of his later works. Like William Morris, Tennyson found his niche in the recreation of a Romantic past.
Hunt was a complex character, a troubled soul. He contained his inner violence and painted scenes of immense beauty.
My dinner party would certainly be a lively one. Perhaps they would appreciate the tongue-in-cheek humour of the main course. If not, I would set myself adrift in a boat.

SHALLOT TARTE TATIN

250g/ 9oz Shallots
1tbsp Olive Oil
25g/ 1oz Butter
2tbsp Vinegar
1tbsp Sugar
1tbsp Thyme Leaves
Puff Pastry
Grated Cheddar

Put shallots in a large bowl and pour over boiling water to cover. Leave for 5 minutes then drain and peel. Cut in half.
Heat oil and butter in a frying pan. Add shallots and gently fry for 10 mins until softened and lightly browned.
Stir in vinegar, sugar, thyme and cook for further 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.
Remove from heat and tip into non-stick cake tin. Leave to cool.
Heat oven to 200C/Gas 6.
Roll pastry and cut in two, making one piece slightly larger.
Put one piece over the shallots.
Sprinkle over the cheese then cover with the second piece and tuck the edges in.
Bake for 25-30 mins until pastry is crisp and golden.
Leave to cool slightly then turn out onto plate.

If the recipients of LE DEJEUNER were Vegetarian...

I love this Monet painting. It's like a fabulous meal just waiting to happen. Perhaps they could be waiting to enjoy this?

CHEESY CHUNKY VEGETABLE BAKE

1kg potatoes, peeled and sliced
500g parsnips, peeled and sliced
200g leeks, sliced
4 carrots, peeled and sliced
100g cheddar cheese, grated
450ml vegetable stock
2tsp mixed herbs
salt and pepper

Layer vegetables in an ovenproof dish.
Pour in the vegetable stock. Season and sprinkle over the herbs.
Cover and bake in a pre-heated oven at 180C/ Gas 4 for 1 hour.
Sprinkle with cheese and grill for 10-15 minutes until the cheese bubbles.

If THE FAMOUS FIVE were Vegetarian...

Quiche is, apparently, making a bit of a revival. It is beloved of vegetarians and meat-lovers alike. It is also a classic picnic dish. I cannot think of a particular occasion when The Famous Five enjoyed it but maybe Julian, Dick, Anne, George (and Timmy the Dog of course) would like a slice of this, washed down, no doubt, with lashings of ginger beer.

SAUSAGE AND ONION QUICHE

175g/6oz plain flour
Salt and pepper
75g/3oz butter
30ml/2tbsp cold water
15ml/1tbsp oil
1 onion, sliced
4 vegetarian sausages
2 eggs, beaten
150ml/¼pt single cream
50g/2oz cheese

Mix the flour and salt, then rub in the butter until the mixture resembles breadcrumbs.
Add the water gradually until the mixture forms a pastry which comes away from the sides of the bowl.
Roll out and line a 20cm/8inch flan dish.
Heat the oil and fry the sausages until just turning brown. Then add the onions and cook through.
Spread this mixture in the flan dish.
Mix the eggs, cream and cheese and season. Pour over the other ingredients.
Bake in a pre-heated oven at 200C/ Gas 6 for about 30mins until set and risen.

If the members of THE BOATING PARTY were VEGETARIAN...

I love this painting and I have often wondered what they would be eating. maybe it would be something like this...

LEEK AND POTATO FILO PARCELS

180g/6oz butter
2 leeks, sliced thinly
1 onion, very finely chopped
2 tbsp mixed herbs
750g/1lb 10oz potatoes, thinly sliced
salt and pepper
6 sheets filo pastry
50g/2oz cheese, grated

Serves 6 as part of a main meal

Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/Gas 4.
Line a baking tray with baking parchment.
Melt 60g/2oz of butter in a pan over a medium heat and add the leeks and onions.
Fry gently for about five minutes until soft and translucent. Stir in the mixed herbs and the grated cheese and season. Then take off the heat and allow to cool.
Meanwhile, place the potato slices into a pan of cold water. Bring to the boil, then simmer for 2-3 minutes until just tender. Drain and rinse them in cold water.
Melt the remaining butter.
Spread out the filo, one sheet at a time. Divide the leek mixture and potatoes into six and place a portion of each at the end of the pastry, leaving a border.
Roll the pastry up, with the leeks inside, tucking the edges in and sealing with the melted butter as you go.
Place the parcel on the baking tray, with the seam on the bottom and brush with more of the melted butter.
Bake in the oven for 30-40 minutes until crisp and golden.

If THE MAD HATTER, THE DORMOUSE AND THE MARCH HARE were Vegetarian...

...perhaps they might serve this at their tea party.


COLD TEA FRUIT CAKE

125g self-raising flour
200g plain flour
¼ tsp salt
1tsp ground mixed spice
½ tsp ground cinnamon
½ tsp ground nutmeg
250g butter
250g soft brown sugar
5 free range eggs
50ml strained cold tea
1½ tsp vanilla extract
750g mixed fruit (currants/ seedless raisins/ sultanas/ dates/ prunes)
75g cut mixed peel
75g chopped glace cherries

Grease and line a 23cm (9in) round or 20cm (8in) square cake tin, using a double thickness of greaseproof paper.
Sift the flours into a bowl with the salt, spices, cinnamon and nutmeg.
In another large bowl, cream the butter with the sugar until light.
Lightly beat together the eggs, tea and vanilla extract. Then, beat half the egg mixture into the creamed mixture. Fold in one-third of the mixed flours. Continue to add the egg and flour mixtures alternately.
Mix in all the remaining ingredients. Turn into the prepared tin and smooth the top.
Bake in a preheated oven 140C/ 275F/gas1, for about 3-3 ½ hours until a skewer inserted into the centre of the cake comes out clean.
Leave to cool before turning out onto a wire rack.